The Tao of falling the fuck down

mystikdragon:

everyonesahero:

beezeltron:

tippitybounce:

“Fuck it, it’s cold.”
“Hey, isn’t that Joe Mauer?”
“Hey, isn’t that Atmosphere?”
“Hey, isn’t that Dessa?”
“You going to board game night tonight?”
“Fuck it, it’s cold.”
“I don’t care if it’s 15 out, I’m biking to work.”
“God, I’m SO over Uptown.”
“God, I’m SO over Northeast.”
“What do you mean you won’t pick me up in North?”
“Fuck it, it’s cold.”
“Doesn’t Parasole own that place?”
“Doesn’t Mark Dayton own that place?”
“Doesn’t Garrison Keillor own that place?”
“Do you like Matt Smith or David Tennant better?”
“You going to the Doomtree show?”
“You going to the Bon Iver show?”
“You going to the Cloud Cult show?”
“Gonna be 40 tomorrow… let’s have a porch party.”
“Fuck it, it’s cold.”
“We’re number 1 for hipsters!”
“We’re number 1 for gays!”
“We’re number 1 for biking!”
“We’re number 1 for hotdish!”
“Why would I ever go to St. Paul?”
“Fucking Delta.”
“Fucking Best Buy.”
“Fucking Vikings.”
“Fucking Twins.”
“Y’know, I just really love having four seasons.”
“I swear to God this is my last winter. Next year I’m moving to Portland.”
“Didn’t I see that guy on OKCupid?”
“Didn’t I see that guy on FetLife?”
“Didn’t I see that guy on Grindr?”
“Can I have a Nordeast?”
“Can I have a Surly Bender?”
“Fuck it, it’s cold.”

dude, who wants to make this with me? no joke.

cries because of how accurate this is i would totally make this with you if i was in minnesota

oh my god i think all of these phrases have probably left my mouth at some point

Add “Too Much Love? What is this, Middle School?” and you’ve got the phrases a pull-string doll of me would say.